December 11, 2012

If he makes a playlist for you, that’s it…

The world is supposed to end in 10 days. I’ve been thinking about it since I first heard of the whole thing four years ago. I was so scared, but I don’t believe it anymore. It’s just so close that it’s hard not to consider it. I’m the age I knew I would be, 16 years old, in my junior year of high school. I’m not the girl I thought I’d be. I abandoned the child that I was, I abandoned my beliefs and rebuilt myself. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just something that makes my brain feel numb, like I’m not really the one thinking when I think about it. The planets in our solar system are supposed to be in perfect alignment for the first time in 25,000 years or something like that. The poles are supposed to shift and cause massive natural disasters all over the planet. Destruction by perfection. All the little rock marbles in a row, exploding one by one. Everything seems to be moving in this way, everything seems to be so perfectly aligned, like it never has been before, as though everything has led up to this. Maybe all hell will break loose, maybe natural disasters will rage, maybe chaos will bloom like springtime. Or maybe it’s all made up, and I’ll keep going. Maybe there’s just a tiny solar system inside of all of us, sometimes in perfect alignment, I can’t even take this world’s beauty and cruelty sometimes.

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