I remember one day in March. I think I was eleven. I don’t want to think of the year. I made my dad two pies on his birthday. I don’t remember how old he was. They were caramel apple pecan pies. We ate both right that day, the three of us. Jody peeled the apples for me because I was nervous around knives. I don’t have that problem anymore.
You know I wish I could tell you that it’s ok that you didn’t get into NYU. But I guess I would be lying if I said that to you tonight. Not tonight. No, tonight is terrible, tonight is broken glass and loud pillow-yelling and that’s how it is tonight. But the thing is that I can say those same words sometime, I can say ‘It’s okay that you didn’t get accepted to NYU’ and it will be true. I guess that’s all I can give you tonight.
Born in 1996
Over the coming months, I'll be publishing several journal entries a day in chronological order. I began journaling in 2007, when I was eleven years old. Even then I wrote as though I were archiving my life, collecting details about my world. As I grew older, journaling became more of a description of my emotional world.
I am an aspiring creative nonfiction writer who is producing very little since graduating college this Spring. But with this unusually thorough account of my entire adolescence, I feel as though I have been given a gift that has been under my nose this whole time.
This is a practice in forgiveness and vulnerability. It is also a way to laugh at myself.
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