Today was the worst day in a very long time. This morning, I couldn’t get out of bed because I was so consumed with the deepest kind of blues. I couldn’t stop crying. Waking up has always been a tragedy in it’s own right, but today was different. The day at school was hell. Afterwards I had to go to therapy, but when I showed up she wasn’t there. I felt the most intense rage and felt as if I would break something or scream. Then I went to 120 to ask them about my industrial bar and they had to take it out because it was going to tear through my ear. So the only thing I liked about myself is gone. I feel so empty. I have never hated myself as much as I do right now. I’m fucking freaking out right now.
Born in 1996
Over the coming months, I'll be publishing several journal entries a day in chronological order. I began journaling in 2007, when I was eleven years old. Even then I wrote as though I were archiving my life, collecting details about my world. As I grew older, journaling became more of a description of my emotional world.
I am an aspiring creative nonfiction writer who is producing very little since graduating college this Spring. But with this unusually thorough account of my entire adolescence, I feel as though I have been given a gift that has been under my nose this whole time.
This is a practice in forgiveness and vulnerability. It is also a way to laugh at myself.
View all posts by uuggla
Girltown 