It’s the new year, I guess. The thought of school makes me cringe, I never want to go back. Blehhhhh I hate this shit so much.
I feel bad because that’s the way it always it. I remember when good feelings fell away from me when I was 13, that’s so young to feel so gone. I wish so much that everything could feel kind for a change. This year had taken so much away from me. Slowly and forcefully. Maybe 2012 will feel different but I suppose organizing things by years is stupid.
I just don’t know what’s important. Not even Daniel. Since he moved away it just feels so different. Nothing feels the same.
Born in 1996
Over the coming months, I'll be publishing several journal entries a day in chronological order. I began journaling in 2007, when I was eleven years old. Even then I wrote as though I were archiving my life, collecting details about my world. As I grew older, journaling became more of a description of my emotional world.
I am an aspiring creative nonfiction writer who is producing very little since graduating college this Spring. But with this unusually thorough account of my entire adolescence, I feel as though I have been given a gift that has been under my nose this whole time.
This is a practice in forgiveness and vulnerability. It is also a way to laugh at myself.
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