Last night was cool, went to Lena’s house and smoked hookah or however you spell it.
I’m starting to have bad thoughts again, serious ones. I just don’t think I can do it, I really don’t. The only reason things got any better was that I had someone around who wanted me, truly wanted me and only me as an individual. I belonged right there with someone else. I’ve always wanted to be half of a whole and I finally had it and it went away. I feel like my heart died and I don’t have the motivation for anything anymore. The only things that give me the occasional buzz are stealing things or being around something illegal or new. Other than that, nothing. Everything else just sinks to the bottom of me.