March 15, 2011

It’s been so long since I last wrote but it hasn’t been so outwardly eventful. I did go to the state hockey tournament last week, but that is irrelevant.
The reason I say outwardly eventful is because my mind has been busy.

I have been reading a LOT lately. This week I read The Maze Runner by James Dashner, Looking for Alaska by John Green, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by I forget who, and a good part of the Odyssey. Each are fantastic. My favorite was TPOBAW, followed by Looking for Alaska. The Maze Runner was exciting but troubling and very stressful in a way I can’t explain. Looking for Alaska was bittersweet and felt nostalgic, even for me, and I’m younger than the protag. I cried in the middle of the night while reading. TPOBAW was moving in a light and refreshing way. Reading it was addicting and reminded me of warm rain and the smell of cucumbers and lilies.

Now I’m reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I’m not sure about it yet, but it’s intriguing.

Things are going so well with Daniel. I love how I’m not bound to him, everything is so chill.

Anxiety? I don’t know what it is but sometimes I lose my temper with my thoughts and something snaps inside me and I get scrapes on my forehead and cheeks from digging my nails in so hard.

Depression maybe? As always, I think about suicide and my whole body tingles and goes cold then numb. I’m just really sad all the time. Beyond sad.

Today I watched an exorcist film and it was really scary but I enjoyed it!

Confusing: I had my first sex dream 2 nights ago. About two girls. Hmmm….

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