October 14, 2010

Uncategorized 1 Minute

I’m in la clase de espanol. Dee and I are on a break. I’m developing feelings for Daniel.

I can never tell anyone. He is MOVING next spring. I’m just so grateful that I have him for as long as I will.

I’ve been denying it for a while now. And maybe I am just feeling lonely without Dee, but everyday it feels more real. I find myself thinking about him all the time, and little things make me happy. I feel SO guilty, but why should I? He’s an amazing person, and I’m only human. Tonight we hung out just me and him. There were so many times when I wanted to kiss him. Things would be so much more simple if he just told me that he has feelings for me.

On the other hand, he’s one of my best friends. I really need him. I wish I was his best friend. That would be a dream come true.

I’ll try to sleep. Unlikely with this on my mind.

Published by uuggla

Born in 1996 Over the coming months, I'll be publishing several journal entries a day in chronological order. I began journaling in 2007, when I was eleven years old. Even then I wrote as though I were archiving my life, collecting details about my world. As I grew older, journaling became more of a description of my emotional world. I am an aspiring creative nonfiction writer who is producing very little since graduating college this Spring. But with this unusually thorough account of my entire adolescence, I feel as though I have been given a gift that has been under my nose this whole time. This is a practice in forgiveness and vulnerability. It is also a way to laugh at myself.

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