We got in a huge fight. I couldn’t even eat. We cried for hours, literally. I didn’t know if I’d be able to forgive him, and we went all day thinking it was all about to fall apart. We talked for around 6 hours today… We prayed a lot. It still hurts so much, but I know that God will give me the strength to forgive him rather than fall back into anger. Satan knows that God wants us to be together, and now he wants to ruin us. I won’t let that happen. I won’t throw away what we have. I just won’t.
My eyes hurt from crying. I love Dee. I love him, even though he did those things to me.
Born in 1996
Over the coming months, I'll be publishing several journal entries a day in chronological order. I began journaling in 2007, when I was eleven years old. Even then I wrote as though I were archiving my life, collecting details about my world. As I grew older, journaling became more of a description of my emotional world.
I am an aspiring creative nonfiction writer who is producing very little since graduating college this Spring. But with this unusually thorough account of my entire adolescence, I feel as though I have been given a gift that has been under my nose this whole time.
This is a practice in forgiveness and vulnerability. It is also a way to laugh at myself.
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